By LA’TONIA CARNEGIE
Every 7 minutes and 29 seconds a domestic violence act occurs according to Cumberland County Domestic Violence Statistical Summary.
In the last three years, three assaults have been reported on CCC’s campus: domestic violence, stalking and dating violence according to CCC’s On-Campus Crime Statistics security report published in fall 2017.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). This initiative was plotted in 1981 to bring advocates all across the nation to help put a stop to violence against women.
Though there are only a few reported cases on campus, the issue of domestic violence has been increased world wide, and has been brought to the attention of the news and sparked debates as to why women stay in abusive relationship.
Several women were interviewed for this article but requested anomity. One anonymous victim said that she stayed with her partner because he told her that he owned her, that if he could not have her, then no one else could.
After doing some research on women between the ages 18-45, I am even more aware that most women in these relationships had “daddy issues” or were brought up in unhealthy households, affecting some of their personal decisions as women when finding love. The love they find is usually in the wrong places by the wrong people.
The idea that women ought to feel guilty for trying to be independent as their husbands or boyfriend is tantamount, of course, to especially victim blame.
Domestic violence is not just physical violence but also mental and verbal abuse. Abusers also use different methods like isolation, threatening to harm their victims’ family members, psychological abuse to hurt their victims and also controlling everything in their partner’s life so that their victim can see them as superior.
Domestic violence is just one of many problems we as a country face but often times gets swept under the carpet because it’s not considered to be a major crime. But, why is this so?
Why as a nation are we turning the other cheek? Another anonymous victim shared that she was just six years old when she witnessed her dad knock out her mom because her mom told her sister that he was hitting her. “Growing up that way was the only type of love I knew, he use to beat my mom like it was his hobby but my mom stayed with him because she said, nobody will ever love her like he does.”
After soaking these behaviours she adapted it as the “norm” and when she was old enough to date, she wasn’t surprised that she had ended up with a man that would beat her, talk down to her, and even rape her.
To blame yourself for everything that is happening to you is the only way a female can understand why her paramour does this to her. There was approximately 70,311 domestic violence offenses reported by the police in 2011, a 5 percent decrease of what was reported in 2010.
Children were present during 31 percent of all domestic violence crimes. Just as how a baby is born within seconds a day, domestic violence would occur every 7 minutes and 29 seconds, reported by Cumberland County Domestic Violence Statistical Summary.
To any females going through this, there is a way to get help, but only you can make that first step. You don’t deserve to be be treated like this by anyone. The number to call is 1-800-799-7233, which is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Sometimes all you need to know is that somebody is willing to listen.
As a female, feminist and advocate against such a despicable act, I often ask myself how can I help women out there going through a battle like this?
The answer? We must edify our women, share victims’ stories so that anyone living in the shadows can see that this is not the life you deserve to live. We need to be our sisters’ keepers but most importantly, we need to speak up and speak out against domestic violence.