Relationship and Career: Can you have both?

By: Brittany Kilpartick

Staff Writer

For many college students, balancing life’s many aspects becomes a priority. The challenges that come along with a person’s many responsibilities are universal issues. Many people face this dilemma at various times in their lives. On January 24th, 2014, talk show host, Bethenny Frankel posed the following question on her Facebook page: “Which is more important to you a career or a relationship?” Is it possible to have both? In the article “Should you sacrifice love for work?” published on cnn.com/living, relationship therapist, Kim Leatherdale states, “People keep getting stuck in all-or-nothing thinking. They think it is wither work or a relationship, but life is more than both. Workers need to change their thinking to look for alternatives.” Later in the piece, “Should you sacrifice love for work?” a life coach, Cathy Wilke, expressed her own opinion on the subject. Wilke felt that, “A loving, supportive relationship – if you are lucky enough to have one—is akin to emotional bedrock. Being loved and supported emotionally enables us to thrive.” Fellow students at Cumberland County College were asked to weigh in on this debate. Question: On Frankel’s Facebook page she asked “Which is more important to you a career or a relationship?” With that in mind, which would you choose? Kyle Bennett: “Someone has to have a foundation before committing to…something long-term.” Vanessa Dwyer: “Of course I would put my career first you know it’s…because it’s a part of establishment.” However, she later added, “A relationship…I don’t like doing things alone.” Rachel Meyers: “I would honestly say a relationship, because a relationship is going to up end up lasting a lot longer than a career.” Then she added “For me at least.” Don’a Smith: “As of now a career… just because if you don’t establish everything you want to do first than you can’t actually focus on a relationship, because you have too many other things to do and if you are with someone who didn’t support that it just makes it more difficult having to then choose between the two thus facing a potential heart break. Once a career is established then a relationship becomes important because then you’ll want to start a family. Question: Do you believe it is possible to maintain both? Bennett: “ Of course, but I think a person knows what they are getting into in each situation.” Dwyer: Yes Meyers: “I do, but I also think you have to be ready to give one up over the other, whichever is more important to you to keep…you know after you meet that one person you think you are going to be with for a while you start almost making your choices around how you think your future is going to end up with that person.” Smith: “It is. It’s going to be really hard…like really really hard, but I mean if you have someone that’s supportive enough of your goals then it’s possible… but usually they just get in the way.” I say if you find someone who is as determined to succeed together as you are then go for it, if not, leave them behind. After discussing this subject matter, it is established that there are diverse views on what is more important. With that said, Leatherdale believes that “People get focused on relationships or work and forget they can have both if they choose to.” Leatherdale would later share,“Too many people confuse static balance with what we really live: A dynamic life. Sometimes we spend more time with one thing or another, where the finesse has to occur in knowing when to switch focus.” There appears to be no textbook answer for this debate. As a result, this issue may still plague future generations.

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