Dear Daphne


Dear Daphne Image

By: Staff Writers

Editor: Jessica Lucena

Dear Daphne,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and a half.  He’s 23 and I’m 20.  He has really been starting to pressure me about getting married and I’m just not ready.  I understand that he’s older, done school, has a full-time job, and in a position to be ready for marriage.  But I still have two years of schooling left and feel that I should finish first.  Here’s my dilemma:  I’m afraid he won’t understand and want to move on with someone else.

-Signed

Still Studying

Dear Still Studying,

Don’t hesitate to talk to him about marriage.  If you can see yourself marrying him, then tell him that.  Just explain to him that the timing is wrong, and you feel that you should finish your schooling before stepping into something more.  Don’t feel pressured into making a decision right this second.  Marriage is not to be taken lightly – it should be a lifelong commitment.  If he loves you and sees himself marrying you, whether it’s in the next four months, or four years, then he will wait.

Dear Daphne,

I recently started a job, and have developed a crush on my co-worker.  Last week, he confided in me that he and his girlfriend are not getting along.  I haven’t told him about my feelings for him yet.  I’d really like to get to know him better and would be happy if something more comes of this relationship.  However, I don’t want to be known as a home-wrecker, and I’m afraid that’s what people will think of me.  Should I pursue this relationship, or completely forget it?

-Signed

Confused Co-worker

Dear Confused,

I think you have answered the question for yourself – you need to get to know him better.  Give him time where he can make a decision about his current relationship without other complications.  This removes the chance of someone thinking you are a home-wrecker.  This time will also allow you to see if your feelings for him are a temporary crush or something that would be more long lasting.  As your friendship builds, you may find he has the same feelings for you.

Dear Daphne,

I’ve been employed at the same job for two years now.  A co-worker who was hired two months after me is over competitive.  We are both up for a management position, and he is doing everything in his power to make me look bad.  How should I handle this?

-Signed

Disgruntled Employee

Dear Disgruntled,

Tension among employees can be tough, especially when there is a promotion involved.  Try talking to upper management about the situation, but don’t be afraid to defend yourself in the moment. Remember that you deserve the position just as much as anyone else does. It is always important to state your concerns before the situation becomes out of hand.  Whether this co-worker is blaming you for things gone wrong or taking credit where credit is not due, you must stand up for yourself.  Remember, this is your job on the line.

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